“Your heart
is only safe in your hands, another person will not give a thought to drop it
and break it at the slightest sign of stress”
Two halfs never
make a whole or two halves will never make a complete whole put mathematically 1/2
+1/2 ≠1. I know that this does not make any sense at all to some people. But
let me be candid on this. Many walk through life looking for love. Looking for
somebody to make them complete. May be a girl looking for a guy or vice versa. What
are they looking for really from the sought after relationship? The reasons I
get goes like this “I need someone to love me, appreciate me and so and so” and
the rest of the reasons that don’t break any ice. True we all need that
especially; but the method and the state in which we seek what we call the ‘love
of our lives’ is very important. To help illustrate this point, let me use the Christian
Bible taking from Mark 11: 23…. Jesus gave to His disciples the way to pray if
one wants to get what they ask for, and it goes like this (paraphrased)
“What so ever
you desire when you pray believe that you already have it (or received it) and
it will be yours” end of quote.
In other words if
you approach God with the feeling that you don’t already have what you are
seeking, you are not going to get whatever it is into your life from that
prayer. That is a wasted prayer. Faith is
being in a state of already having even before it actually manifests in your
life. So many prayers will go unanswered in peoples’ lives because they approach
God with a shopping list whose items they don’t even believe they can have or receive.
Read the Bible again and you will find countless occasions when Jesus used the
words ‘Your faith has made you whole or your faith has healed you”. Where was the faith? Was it with Jesus or the person asking? of course the person asking. Remember
the story of the woman with an issue of blood? The woman knew she had already
been healed and all she needed to do was to touch the source of the healing. Now here
is the mathematics, the source of the healing does not have half the healing
but it’s whole and complete healing. Therefore, the woman did not go to Jesus
with half faith because there is no such thing as half healing. Its either you
are healed or you are not.
Now what has all
this got to do with relationships? Well, if you are trying to go into a
relationship believing that you don’t already have what it takes to be happy
and hoping to get what is missing in your life from a partner, you are in for a
big shock. Your potential partner might also be missing some other big things
and they are looking for someone they believe has what is missing. Imagine two
people with something missing meet and get into a relationship. Either persons in
such a relationship will be expecting the other to give what they also don’t have.
The result will be an endless sop-opera of arguments and counter accusations of
who does not care or not sensitive. People like this have entered a
relationship from the perception of ‘I don’t have’ and believe me it is a very
dangerous place to start a relationship. When you enter a relationship with the
hope that your partner will complete you in every way, you have entered the
relations from a deficient state and you are likely going to be a slave in that
relationship. Why? Because you have nothing to offer in that relationship. Your
partner does not complete you but they complement you, because you were created
complete with everything you need to be happy except that you may not just be
aware. Every feeling you feel whether anger or sexual all come from within you
and not from the other person; that is the illusion of life.
The problem is that
we have been brought up in a culture where we have been taught that there is
something missing about us and spend the rest of our lives trying to find what is missing from every corner. We have
lived in this illusion from childhood to the point of being hypnotized with it.
That is the reason when girls turn 18 going to 20 years old immediately after
High School, begin to get busy thinking their time in the so called love market
is fast running out. But stay cool baby girl who has bewitched you with such
lies? You can’t go on in life with perceived missing pieces, there are wolves
in the market and they will abuse you in your quest to fill up the missing
pieces.
I know we are
all not responsible for our traditional practices that we have inherited, we
simply found them. But culture should not be static and should evolve in such a
way that whatever is not profitable in the current era must be done away with.
You remember most of us when we were growing up and you asked for money from mommy
who in turn said she doesn’t have but all the time she redirects you to go ask
your father for the money? This alone programmed the girl child that the man
of the always has the money. When she grows up and gets into marriage, the husband is
in trouble because he has to provide all the money. The same with the boy
child; he grows up into a man with the mentality that he controls all the
resources. Therefore, even after he matures and marries, the wife will not have
the full rights over the money he earns. It is a cultural inheritance thing. That
is the reason some wives do not even know how much their beloved husbands earn every
moth not even the PIN code to the Bank ATM Card. Just for men, It’s a lot of
work trying to give your wife even money for tomato from your pocket. Grow out
of it, its shameful!
'Let us take the responsibility of making the necessary change in our culture and not allow culture to kill the dreams of the girl child especially. She is endowed with so much creative power that can easily change an entire nation. Imagine the mothers selling on the Markets, if they were all empowered from the start and they got the necessary education. What we currently see in the markets as market stands would have been Industries creating employment and adding to the GDP. may the Ladies Amen'
I thought I should mention this.. back to relationships..
A healthy
relationship is where two people come together in the state of I do have something
to give. Love is about giving and not getting. People resist anyone trying to forcefully
or cunningly get something out of them. That is the reason why God in Genesis
says “…..and the two shall become one” two people only become one if they come
together complete with everything to give. When people in relationships give
willingly everything they have, they both benefit greatly. Let me end with this
motivation to someone..
‘WHATEVER YOU
THINK IS MISSING IN YOUR LIFE, IS WHAT YOU ARE NOT GIVING’
If Joy is
missing in your environment, it's only missing because it's still stuck in your heart and you haven’t given
it. So don’t blame everybody else for your misery of not being complete. You are a
power plant capable of generating anything you desire in your life. The Choice
is yours to take a trip into yourself and find the infinite abundance still
waiting to unfold at your command
Leave a comment, I would like to hear from you. Thanks in advance for reading
With you in Mind
Bright
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