When the only way to win is to lose (Extract from my biography)

“like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft.” ~ Deut 32:11

I have learned in my life that sometimes the only way to win is to decide to lose. You can lose the battle but you haven’t lost the war. When life places you in the pot of rejection and covers the pot with a cover of hate, usually the natural response is to fight back and try to defend yourself from those you consider the adversaries pushing you to the corner. You feel the people around you are taking your life and trying to squeeze it. Therefore, you want to use every opportunity to defend your cause lest people can believe you and your case against your assumed adversaries. Time and again we have tried to defend ourselves in the face of such to no avail because, in the mental court where you have been tried in absentia, you have been found with a case to answer. Life has taught me that in the face of rejection, do not say anything. No matter how tramped up the charges or the cause of your rejection are. Be still and do not say anything for your cause because, remember you have been found guilty and usually with tramped evidence already. Therefore, nothing you can say or do will save the situation. You can cry, you can even roll on the ground or you can swear by the heavens to prove your innocence, the final judgment has been cast in stone and you are thrown under the bus.

Why not defend yourself or fight back? I was rejected and abused verbally and mentally to the point where I could have easily lost my self-worth as a human being and probably committed suicide. I must confess there were a few times when I had considered that option but I didn’t. In the year 1997, I lost my mother who was my friend, my sister my everything. Her death was very painful and it has taken me a while to heal and to adjust to her absence. In the very year she died I also suddenly developed a medical condition that affected my legs to a point that I became immobile and I couldn’t walk. Not being able to walk meant that I couldn’t work and believe me that period was one of my walks in the valley of the shadow of death. As the icing on the cake, I was involuntarily left alone to fend for myself despite my physical incapacity. When I look back now, I realize that the city was rejecting me as well and was crafting ways to eject me out of it too. In the face of all that I was going through, I chose to keep quiet and to help me to deal with it, I chose to shut my mind, my brain including my heart so that I wouldn't feel the pain of what I was going through. I realized that I needed my whole heart and not pieces of it to remain sane as not doing so could lead someone to commit the most heinous crime. I had two daughters and a son, and they needed me alive. In the face of rejection, we always do not know the entire divine game at play for the sake of the life of the rejected. And because we don’t know, it's better to keep quiet and not fight battles you don’t comprehend fully what is at play because not doing so might just lead you to miss your bus to your God-given destiny. Think about it, the job you have in the city you live in could probably be a result of you being chased badly by a relative in another city where you could have been comfortable being unemployed for example. The wife or husband you have today could have been victims of serious family abuse which forced them to run away to the perceived city of safety where you two met under unexplained circumstances. What I am saying is that rejection was the vehicle that transported the good things you are thanking God for now into your hands.  

Many times we get used to familiar environments in a way that we think any idea of moving to another place is considered a mischievous maneuver by the devil to deprive you of your comfort zone. Well, let’s look at it this way, how can God move you to the place of your destiny? A place where you need to increase and prosper? Do we expect the almighty to come with a kind letter of request to you saying please move to X city? Heaven No! God will dangerously shake your nest to its foundation like the eagle does when its time for eaglets to be independent, and disturb your comfort without even considering the pain that will be inflicted on you in the process and allow rejection to eject you from that nest and drop you where you are supposed to be which is your place of grace. Put simply God allowed the abuse and the rejection to eject me from my city of comfort Luanshya, a town that didn’t have my things so that I could be dropped in the capital of Zambia where my life changed like night and day for the best. Today I thank God for the abuse and rejection I had to go through while in Luanshya. Every person who abused and rejected me is innocent of all charges because the divine only used them to push me to my destiny. Hence, I love them all because without them I wouldn’t have been where I am today enjoying the best of my life.

In every circumstance, be still and know that there is a God who is ordering the steps of your life